Bristol City 0 Birmingham City 1 (Apologies to Blackburn Rovers.).

Having the final league game of the season clashing with the Bristol 10K meant road closures and people getting told to park at Park and Rides for a bus to take them in to the ground. £4 return. I’d had the sinking feeling that if this all worked like clockwork then they might have this as a regular occurrence but perhaps not. The bus I got into was packed to the brim – leading to passers by on the street to stop and look – and some poor bloke passed out, falling into the stair way due to the heat/bodyheat engendered. I also heard that they might have been an accident involving another bus to hopefully this zaniness was just a one-off.

Sorry, Blackburn Rovers. If Bristol City were any good, you’d have been saved at the death today. Birmingham, but both sides really are just meat-and-potatoes sides. Much of the play was a desperate mess, eventually leading to the ball being hoofed away unceremoniously. Birmingham time-wasted and dived their way to survival. Goalie Tomasz Kuszczak must have accounted for the six minutes added on time on his own with his “deliberations” before taking a goal kick. What with Birmingham’s diving and on field time wasting as well, I felt like I was in the film ‘Dredd’; spiked with ‘Slo-mo’ and time felt like it was moving at 1% normality.

It’s been a rubbish season at Bristol City but we were all dying to send the blues down. Birmingham had some early pressure, forcing some saves. Bristol City edged their way into things. The crowd chants went up: firstly ‘1-0 to the Blackburn boys!’ then ‘2-0 to the Blackburn boys!’ but soon Birmingham managed to get their goal.

Bristol City had a good spell of pressure in the second half but that final ball was lacking all day. Joe Bryan is highly rated, and is popular due to being from Bristol himself, but his popularity means that he tends to skate on through life. He gets found out at this level with slack play intermingling with his good. Lee Tomlin came on to add something but, again, he flatters to deceive sometimes. Some amazing work with dragbacks and his lateral thinking but then getting all too easily robbed of possession at other times. It’s worth remembering that City managed to pull themselves clear of their relegation trouble while Tomlin was relegated to being a bit player. The fans’ pulling for him to always be a starter proved to be an incorrect assumption. I’d include myself for condemnation as I thought he should always start too. Never listen to the fans: they don’t know what they’re talking about most of the time.

To be honest, if Bristol City were any good, Birmingham would be down. They were there to be pushed over. Both sides really are rubbish. I’d have loved to have seen teenage loan Tammy Abraham say goodbye with a final goal, after carrying the whole team on his back this season but it wasn’t to be. Many thanks for all you did this season, Tammy, and very best of luck to you. He even headed a goal line clearance today.

So, ‘Arry gets his 250 large. Like a garbage man who drives his load to a landfill site, ‘Arry managed to steer his rubbish away from danger, only ‘Arry got paid quarter of a million for minding the shop for four and a half hours of game time. Both sides should be heading out of the Championship on that evidence today. They can think themselves lucky that there were at least three worse sides around. Much to ponder over the summer.

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